It can really hurt when the people you expected to step in don’t.
Sometimes it’s disappointing. Sometimes it’s heartbreaking. And sometimes it’s surprising who does show up instead…
Here’s what we know:
It’s not always about you.
People often want to help but don’t have the confidence or the words. They might feel awkward, afraid of saying the wrong thing, or unsure what’s actually needed.
Life catches up with people.
They may care deeply, but work, family pressures, health issues, or their own crises can limit their capacity to step in, even when they wish they could.
Some people just can’t.
For emotional, practical, or personal reasons you may never see, they don’t have the capacity to help in the way you hoped or needed.
Here’s what helps:
Focus on who is here.
The crew you’ve built, whether close friends or unexpected supporters, are the people showing up. Their presence matters, even if it wasn’t who you imagined.
Keep the door open.
Those who didn’t show up this time may be able to in the future. Circumstances change, and capacity can return.
Let go of the “shoulds.”
Support rarely arrives in the neat package we picture. Try to see the help you are receiving as real and valuable, even when it comes from unexpected places.
You deserve support. Sometimes it just comes from different people than you pictured. And this can actually be really beautiful… 💜
