AUTHOR: Dr Susan Palmer
It can be a real challenge to know how best to support someone you care about when they’re going through a tough time and you don’t live nearby.
So often, support looks like practical help such as meals or transport, or face to face connection like dropping in for a chat. When distance gets in the way of those options, it can feel like there’s not much you can do.
But distance doesn’t have to stop you from providing meaningful support. It just means getting a little more creative.
One of the most powerful things you can offer someone, whether you live next door or on the other side of the country, is staying connected.
When life gets hard, social connection often fades. Illness, grief, or crisis can feel awkward for others to be around, and people sometimes pull back without meaning to. Regular contact helps counter that isolation and reminds someone they’re not alone.
You can stay connected in lots of ways, even from far away.
We recommend a mix of contact methods so support feels flexible rather than overwhelming. Phone calls, text messages, WhatsApp groups, online games, and even handwritten letters all have a place. Having options matters, because there may be days when someone doesn’t have the energy for a phone call but still really values knowing you’re there.
You could try:
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Setting regular times to watch a favourite show together. Reality TV works surprisingly well for this.
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Playing word games like Words with Friends or Wordle together.
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Doing online puzzles side by side.
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Creating a “jokes only” WhatsApp group to keep things light.
These kinds of activities maintain connection without requiring deep conversation. They also give you something to share beyond the hard stuff, which can be a welcome relief when life starts to feel very narrow and serious.
If you want to support someone in this way, start by talking with them about it. Let them know you’d like to stay connected from a distance and explain how you’re thinking of doing that. Ask if they have ideas too or if there’s something they’d prefer.
There’s no perfect way to do this. What matters is showing up consistently.
Regular contact and steady support during a challenging time really do make a difference. So start somewhere, see what works, and adjust as you go. 💛
